The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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