You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
