I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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