Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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