There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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