you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
