Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
