At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
These tits shall not be calmed
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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