I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
