I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
