I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize