the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
