Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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