I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
