Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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