I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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