You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize