I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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