Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
