my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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