I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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