I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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