How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
