Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
