I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
