I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
