I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
