That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize