I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
