What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
