i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
