I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
The air taste purple.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
