so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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