I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
