Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
