We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's blow job season.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
