we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
