I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize