I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
