So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
