Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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