Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Bring me that man meat
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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