Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
