omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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