i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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