How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
