Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
