I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
