So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
