he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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