i think my mom watched the whole time
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
