Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's blow job season.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
