wat bout pragnant strippers??
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I smell like Dick and happiness
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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