i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
