How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
