So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
