i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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