so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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