Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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