I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Say something about gay babies.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
