Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
