Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
