if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
