i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think your dad took our porno
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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