with your own penis?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
