TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
