if you like me you must not know who I am
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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